Who is Joe Hubris?

1968, the Long Hot Summer. Half way around the world, a different kind of hot: In Portland, Oregon, an Irish Catholic woman was pregnant by her suburban WASP husband. Three months later, in the, uh... Long Hot Fall, Joe Hubris was born. Much as Achilles was defined by his post-natal dip in the Styx, So Joe was defined by the political strife, social unrest, recreational excess, and cartoon violence which dominated his gestation.

During his childhood, he focused on public service. As the hope and optimism of the 1970's faded, they were replaced by the bitter corruption and soul-stealing strictures of the '80's. But Joe was quick. He learned to put self before others. He learned to value the giant and distant over the small and local. He rebuilt his life trading sustainable hippy recycling and renewability for disposable suburban consumption.

In the '90's, during the Clintonian semi-great semi-restoration, Joe found himself in the land of the rising sun where he studied Japanese efficiency and culturally dictated self-denial. Unfortunately, many of these studies were framed by death-defying rounds of Japanese beer drinking. It was not all a loss--Joe has continued the drinking.

Joe's life since has been a blue-state tour de force. Portland, New york City, Boston. He now parks his hybrid in Port Fishington, Philadelphia. Granted full-blown liberal elite status in 2005 when he became a trial lawyer, the only thing he now enjoys more than getting criminals off on technicalities is denigrating our men and women in uniform.

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